The Offensive Reality

{October 6, 2009}   ex-oh-ex-oh-ex-oh

Okay, here is the deal. I am friggin’ sick and tired of dealing with asshole exes. Now before you start getting all huffy and what not, I am not a “man hater” as some people say. I do not put all my past expirences on other men. I just seem to have the misfortune, that the real pricks out there know how to spot me. And then I have to deal with the drama. An endless abyss of drama, since dealing with assholes, means also dealing with their childish aquaintances. You know them. I’m sure you all have “that ex” in there somewhere.

oops did i do that?

oops did i do that?

Today though, we are going to deal with the asshole exes, that were lucky enough to be blessed with your child. I’ve tried beyond might to be the “friend.” Personally, the only reason I even care one shit what happens to this person is because I love my child. I don’t care who they are sleeping with, what their job is doing to them, why their other ex is the biggest whore on the face of the earth. I used to care. Well, from a friend point. I wanted to be friends, even after the hell I went through, especially after I left. Now, all bets are off. Wake the fuck up?! It is about the child. Not you, not me, not your new ex, or your family, or your friends. One person. That little one sitting their wondering why you aren’t keeping your damn promises.

You call me up, crying on my shoulder. You need someone to talk to. You know you screwed me over… you can see so clearly now. Okay fine. I’m glad you are growing up. Wait, what? Oh, that’s right, it’s an act. You don’t know how to grow up. The world owes you, and has screwed you over. And now so is everyone else. Then suddenly I am. Oh, what? You don’t want to pay child support. Well, maybe you should stop sleeping with everything that crosses your path. It’s not child’s fault you are a loser. That poor little person just wants to know where you are. And when you don’t show up, guess who has to fix it?

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that part of my chest, here it is. I am sick of hearing non stop about parents using their kids as weapons. They think only of themselves, and then use the kids as a means to hurt the other person. When you have a child you need to grow your ass up. Life will never be about you anymore. Everything you do is going to affect that little innocent child.

Here is your f*ing reality check: You are not God’s gift to the human race. The world owes you nothing. You owe the child everything. I have absolutely no interest in ever being with you again. Now grow the fuck up, and be a parent.


HOW ‘BOUT IT!!?? (and i’m not a man hater either.. i’m just a hater of my ex)

You know, kids say the darnest things… My kids came home the other day to tell me that their sperm donor is trying to get me back! ROTFLMAO OMG WTF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (you totally should have seen my face as I just typed that out).  I really want to be polite in front of my children and I was. I simply told them “sorry sweetie, daddy and I just don’t get along enough for me to go back to him” when what I really wanted to say was “OMG, that is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.. WHY would I leave a stable home and everything to go live in a hellhole with the biggest asshole in the world just to live day to day by scavenging in the couch for enough change to buy our next meal”

OK you say.. “that’s a bit exaggerated Offensive J”.. NO it’s really not!  Now I know what this ex is going to do.  He is going to pull out the INTIMIDATION card because he thinks it will still work on me.  Sad thing is, that wore off a LONG time ago!

So what some of your EX horror stories?  We wanna hear them!  Give us your best!


oh my lord. as if the post itself wasn’t brilliant enough, we have some of the best pictures ever along with it. ladies, i bow to you. purely awesome. 🙂

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