The Offensive Reality

{June 6, 2010}   Advanced Douchebag: you’ve graduated!

Congratulations!  You have passed Introduction to the Ghetneck and have found yourself being a full-blown DOUCHEBAG!  How can we tell you’ve reached this level of honor?  Fasten your seat belts, because here we go:

Lets face it, you are a fucking stalker.  I know my public pictures are out there for everyone to see, but you take it to another level.  You peruse my pages daily, saving my pictures and sending them back to me with dirty little comments. And not just one. Every single picture I take. Even pictures that I’ve specifically sent to a certain person, which means you were reading my conversations with other people. Now, I know me, and there really isn’t anything extreme in my pictures.  You might get a bra or a nightie shot.  And usually even those are in good taste. Hell, my swimming suits are more revealing than most of my undies. I post them openly. Fine. But taking a picture that I’ve personally sent to a specific person is going a little too far. Yes, you can go to my pages and see them, but they were meant to peak a conversation with that certain someone.  Not you.  Granted, it is flattering, and fun on occasion to have your picture sent back, telling exactly how you make that person feel. I like that every so often. Just not every fucking picture I post.  And not taking a picture that wasn’t meant to be anything more than fun, and turning it perverse.  I will say, however, there are a few people that are allowed to go there.

I am a perverted person. I freely and proudly admit to this.  But not every fucking thing I say is in the gutter.  I have a god damn brain in my head and I do prefer to have that stimulated more than anything.  Sexual talk is all in fun, until every damn thing you say to me becomes just that. Sexual.  In truth, I really only like to be perverted with people I’m comfortable with.  They are my little circle of friends.  Sure, you could be there someday.  But getting to know me is the only way to get to the level where I openly feel thrilled at being in gutter with you.  There has really only been one that I’ve let this side show to from the start.  What can I say? He excites me.  It happens.  But even he will have a non-sexual conversation with me.  And even though our conversations do not happen as often as I’d like, he still has referred to me as one of his “elite.” Hopefully, if he’d ever read this, he’d realize it was him, and you would realize it is not you. The people in this little section of my rant get to break all rules with me.  Friends are awesome when it comes to this.  Maybe you should try that first.

After years of not being allowed to know myself sexually, I’m just learning how to to do this all. I don’t want fucking bombarded by every asshole douchebag who thinks they see an opening.  Most likely if I’m interested in playing around with you on this level, I will respond directly to you. I may even make the first move.  But if you find that I am giving you non sexual responses, or just blowing you off in general, give it up. You’ve probably already turned me off to future fun.  But if I have responded, instigated or already played around with you, hang on, because I’m up for learning…


Ok, I don’t normally have a lot to say because C does a really good job of getting it out there and today is not going to be any different.  The one thing I want to add is this:

When the FUCK did flirting become something where a man or a woman has to be completely disgusting and turn everything you say into some sexually explicit comment?  Even when you say something about rainbows and unicorns they seem to find some way of twisting it around for their sick fucked up fantasy.  Our society has obviously turned into a bunch of horny assholes who don’t know how to treat someone of the opposite sex without making them feel like a god damn piece of meat.

THEN, we have people that think to get to a girls heart, you need to send them pictures of your penis!  Are you fucking serious?  Yes, I know with that great invention called a CELLPHONE that now has a CAMERA it makes it so easy to send pictures to your favorite someone, but does it NEED to be of that little guy in your pants?  Come on, please stop embarrassing yourself.  You realize us girls just get those pictures and pass them around to all our friends so we can laugh at them right???

As someone suggested to me the other night, I think maybe I should start a site where girls can submit all their MMS texts they get from men, trying to show off their manhood to get in a girls pants.


[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Someone, Lori . Lori said: RT @FemaleProdigy: Advanced Douchebag: you've graduated!: […]

John979 says:

Very nice site!

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