The Offensive Reality











{November 1, 2009}   Drama Drama Drama

Get a life people. Preferably your own! I mean seriously, are you that simple-minded that you have to butt your dumb ass into someone else’s business? And I mean this on every scale. Whether you are some small town gossip, to the big ass tabloids, and even to the people who are supposed to aid and protect us in life.

Lets start small town here. Or any town. More like small mind. Lets try my town. Do you know me? You think you do. You hear this, you twist that, and suddenly you are an expert on my life. Then your so-called facts come rolling back to me, and I sit and laugh at how off base you are. Well, laugh is an understatement. Maybe if you actually knew me, you’d be less likely to run your mouth. Scratch that. For two reasons. One, you’d still run your mouth because that is who you are. You seem to get some thrill out of everyone else’s misery. And two, I don’t want to know you. You are not exactly the type of person I want associated with. You joke how you sit around with your friends making fun of me. Really? Haha, awesome. I am so glad to know that I’m that entertaining. Maybe I should get my own reality show. Here’s a reality for you: Who cares what you and your friends are laughing at. If only you knew how other people looked at you. Most likely if you are dishing out the goods to everyone you know, you are trying to cover up all your nasty little quirks. (Like sleeping with your married boss, or cheating on your husband, or, well you get the picture.) Sure, I call one of my close friends when I hear something coming my way. We joke. We laugh. We are evil. But only too each other. It stops there. That is what friends are for. By the way, I’ve never been one of those people who think that certain people are better than others. I feel everyone is equal, it is just what you do with your mind that counts. You are making me reconsider that.

Here is another one for you. You shit for brains pricks who think you are so high and mighty that you lump everyone together, into stereotypes. I usually ignore comments I see in this regard. Yeah, they piss me off, but I am most likely to just sit and stew at the ignorance of those people. Once in a blue moon though, someone might catch me in a mood. The INTERNET is wonderful for this, because I am allowed that instant, respond to the asshole before I think capability. The other day was one of those moments. As I get into this, remember, I am a survivor of domestic violence. I’ve been battling the system for years, trying to get a real life for me and my children. I have seen the system from different angles, at one point working for it, and then having to live on it myself. I was in a MOOD to it’s true form on this day, when some jackass made a comment lumping drug addicts and people on public welfare all together in one nice little bundle of hatred. You may see me cursing on here, and putting things into not so nice wording. But that is here. I sort of use this like I’m talking in my head. When I actually communicate with people, I am pretty reserved. And actually, don’t laugh, some what shy. Ask OffensiveJ. She’s had to deal with my timid ass for 15 years. Anyway, I calmly asked this dude, “so are you lumping everyone on assistance together in that?” Well, he preceded to tell me how EVERYONE on assistance, unless you are a mentally handicapped child, or elderly, should not be allowed any kind of aid. That everyone else were just lazy asses living off everyone else. So I said to him that I know there are a lot of people taking advantage of the system, but they are just making it bad for those trying to honestly get by. He told me that was basically bullshit. I asked him “what about the now single mom, who was a survivor of domestic violence? She didn’t asked to be abandoned or abused, and left with nothing.” And then he goes into this rant about how she could be out working any job possible, and blah blah blah, even in this economy there really is jobs. He also went off on this tirade about how everyone on assistance should be forced to be temporary sterilized. Excuse me? What?! Okay, granted, I feel that if you are on assistance you should be a little more careful on what you are doing thinking, especially when it comes to children. Do you really want to bring more life, into that kind of life? But WTF?! Sterilization?! Taking someone’s freedom. I know there are some stupid people out there having kids for the wrong reasons, but unfortunately that is their choice. Needless to say, I got no where, but extremely irritated with this moron. Then he precedes to tell me how his family has always been well off, and he’d never use public assistance. Well, buddy, I hope for you kids sake, your job and life are pretty damn secure.

Moving on. Did any of you see this case going on with the Walmart/photo/child porn thing. No? Go read it. http://www.momlogic.com/2009/09/are_bathtime_pictures_child_po.php OMFG!! Okay. Now I know that there are some pretty sick people out there, but this?! Who the hell doesn’t have childhood nude pictures? Or tub pictures? You are a parent. You see your adorable little one covered in bubbles playing happily. Sex is the last thing on your mind. You are only thinking how you want to be able to remember that adorable little face with the blue bath paint splattered everywhere. I guess I don’t know what to think of the Walmart worker here. I would say that common sense developing the pictures should win out. Is it a whole role of naked children? Oh, just some little girls hugging fresh out of the tub in a towel, and a bunch photos of some family fun stuff, vacations… whatever. Hmmmm, these must be child pornographers. Okay, okay, so he was doing his “job.” Then what about the fucking police. I honestly don’t know how it is in other states, or even town further way, but I know in our little town, the children services suck ass. They ignore the cases that are severe and really do need help, because that would mean they actually have to work. Instead, they pick on the little cases, that are usually false info, and terrorize the family. I’ve seen it happen. I got so burnt out working for the social work system in my area that I left in a hurry. I’d rather find another way to attack it. Anyway, that poor family was torn apart and probably scarred for life over someone’s little reaction. Meanwhile, if I do a sex offender search of my area, there are at least 23 in a 30 mile radius. Get a fucking clue! COMMON SENSE! Wait I forgot, that is something of the past.

Take a hint people. Get your own fucking lives. Save the drama for… well, never mind. Don’t save it for her. Reasons being: one, she’s had to deal with you and your drama your entire life. Let the poor woman have some piece; two, if you are the way you are, most likely she is the reason you are that way. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (thanks Mom)

_________________________________________

Drama is my middle name.. scratch that.. DRAMA LOVES TO FIND ME!  Thats much better. 

Many of you know that I frequent a site called Level26 (yes this is a shameless plug for the site too lol) and you know that I’m really dedicated to the site.  Maybe it’s the story, maybe it’s the fact that a kick ass person by the name of Anthony Zuiker runs it and he is by far my favorite celebrity at the moment… Not only because he created one of my FAVORITE TV shows, but because he loves to interact with his Level 26 community!  Granted, with any site you will have controversy and its to be expected, but what you don’t expect is 6th grader drama between everyone.

For the past 3 weeks its been a full-fledged bitch fest about one thing or another.  What doesn’t help is when one person starts it and then everyone else follows their lead.  I’ve never in my life seen so many “pussy whiny bitch tit pieholes” in my life (OK that was something someone called ME the other day).  I was literally embarrassed to be associated with these people the other week.  To the point where I wanted to send Anthony a message saying “OMG, I can’t believe adults are behaving this way.. please forgive them”

So not only is the drama offline… its like 10 times worse online.  It’s like everyone loses all of their common sense as soon as they see a keyboard.  Either that or they become retarded after touching a computer!  Maybe the screen transmits some strange rays from it to the brain of the person sitting there that tells them to become the biggest piece of shit in the entire world!  (that must be it)

What other types of drama do you guys see?  Tell us your worst drama stories… lets see who has the best story!



WARNING: THIS IS A LONG POST BUT VERY MUCH WORTH IT!

I’ve been hearing a lot of disturbing things coming my way lately. And they have a lot to do with an extremely touchy subject with me. That would be Domestic Violence.

WTF is wrong people, who sit there and turn the blame around on the victims?! I’ve heard the statements “well maybe she deserved it,” “maybe if she hadn’t done that,” “she was stupid enough to go back,” and my favorite “well, maybe if she’d not have gotten herself into this in the first place…” Are you fucking kidding me?! Let’s break this down a little.

We now live in a society where the actual criminal has more legal right than the victim. They take all sorts of pictures, take him away in handcuffs, recommend you go to the hospital, and then out the door they head, with a simple pitiful look your direction. The next day, he is out on bail, with a simple “stay away” slap on the wrist, until the so-called hearing transpires. So the victim is left in fear. Because a temporary PFA, an actual PFA, or even a warning from the police is no security measure. Yeah, it is a consequence. But it isn’t stopping the bastard from walking right back in there and doing worse. This is one reason “she is stupid enough to go back.” He shows up, he threatens her. Or, even worse, he shows up, breaks down crying, telling her he is so sorry, he is going to get help, he can change, blah fucking blah. Yeah. Oh he will. He’ll get worse.

Or, the battered woman has no support system to help her out of this. She can turn to no one. And of course, some of you dipshits are going to say that she can go to the shelter, friends, family, the law. She isn’t thinking that. She’s afraid for anyone to know. The bruises are hidden. Why do you think she is wearing long sleeves in the dead of summer? That scarf isn’t just because it is in style. Being abused doesn’t just damage your outside. You feel like you are nothing. Like you deserve nothing. You can’t get anything better, so you best not lose what you have, even if it is killing you. And on top of it, it WASN’T always like this. So when you say “she shouldn’t have gotten herself into this in the first place,” remember that if he’d punched on their first date, there probably wouldn’t have been a second. There was love, at least on her part. There were good times. Those are freakin amazing, and hard to let go of. Even when they become few and far between, you know they were still there. You believe, they have to still be there.

Now, say that the woman is able to move forward, and push the trial, and push for the law to help. I’ve got news for you: the system doesn’t care. Oh, they tell you they do. They promise you he wont see the light of day for what he did to you. You are safe. Look at Rihanna. Chris Brown got probation and community service. He cried how he didn’t know he was doing this. It runs in his family. He was so sorry, because he loves her so much. Bullshit. They get a slap on the wrist, and maybe 6 months. A PFA is just a piece of paper, and now-a-days, people seem to be putting them on each other just in revenge. That weakens our system. Then those who really need them are looked down upon. I know two different innocent men right now who are having their lives raked over the coals at the wims of two psyco ex-girlfriends, and a power hungry judge and D.A. And I know some overly guilty men out there walking free, terrorizing their exes because the system has just seen it too much.

Open your eyes people!!! Become AWARE! TEACH your children, your family, your friends. Teach your WORLD. Change it.

And to those of you who say “maybe she deserved it.” Watch out. Because if that is how you are thinking, you are red flagged. You probably are an abuser, or on your way to being one. Perhaps you should save humanity a little integrity and take a walk off a cliff. Preferably with a lot of rocks at the bottom.

If you haven’t figured it out from my view points, I am a domestic violence SURVIVOR. I am not going to tell you my “story”on here. I live it every night in my head. But I want people to learn from it. I am not a victim. I have my victim days. I am lucky. I have a huge support system. But I’m still fighting. I am a SURVIVOR.
_____________________________________________________

I’m also a survivor and OffensiveChris’s story and mine are different.  Domestic violence comes in many many forms: verbal, sexual and physical.  I’m also not going to tell my story today.  I was going to link to a video by a popular youtuber but I decided against it for two reasons. One, why should I give him more views and two, I don’t feel like being the person that sends people to his video to verbally abuse him.  I posted a comment to his video when I saw it, and instead of having others that agreed with me I had people telling me to “Fuck off” and that I was “a dumb cunt”.  I let these comments roll off my back because in my life, I have been called a lot worse by people that were not behind a computer.  I didn’t post the comment because I dislike the youtuber, but because I just really felt offended by his statement.  I know he is there to get shock value and I should have just let his comment also roll down my back, but in the heat of the moment I couldn’t help myself.  To this day, I still watch his videos and have no hard feelings towards him.

So instead of that video, I’m going to give you some inspirational quotes and poems that I have used in the past in my other blog in case you happen to be one of those people stuck in an abusive relationship and don’t have anyone else to turn too.  Remember Chris and I were both there.  I lived in the abuse shelters and went to the domestic violence meetings.  We know where you are and where you need to be to get help!

I’ve learned (unknown author)
I’ve learned-
you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned –
it’s taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned –
you should always leave loved ones
with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned –
you can keep going
long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned –
we are responsible for what we do
regardless of how we feel
I’ve learned –
either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I’ve learned –
regardless of how hot and
steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be
something else to take its place.
I’ve learned –
heroes are the people

who do what had to be done,
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned –
money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned –
my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned –
sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you’re down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned –
sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me
the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned –
true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
same goes for true love.
I’ve learned –
just because someone doesn’t love
you the way you want them to
doesn’t mean
they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned –
maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you’ve had
and what you’ve learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned –
no matter how good a friend is,
he/she is going to hurt you

every once in a while
and
you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned –
it isn’t always enough to be
forgiven by others.
sometimes you
have to learn to forgive yourself
I’ve learned –
no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned –
our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned –
just because two people argue.
it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other
and just because they don’t argue,
it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned –
we don’t have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned –
you shouldn’t be so eager
to find out a secret.
it could change your life
forever.
I’ve learned –
two people can look at the exact
same thing and see something totally
different.
I’ve learned –
your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned –
even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help
I’ve learned –
credentials on the wall

do not
make you a decent human being
I’ve learned –
the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
_____________________________________________________

20 ways to love yourself (unknown author)

~Do go with your instincts and follow your heart.  You will feel good about yourself when you are doing what feels right inside.
~Don’t be lazy about your health and appearance.  The effort you put into eating well and exercising will pay off. 
~Comfort a friend.  Try to cheer them up .  When you are focused on their problems, yours will seem smaller
~Do find your strengths and talents (everyone has some) and make the most of them!
~Don’t be so desperate to have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you use someone you don’t care about to let them use you.  No one feels good in a relationship that lacks caring.
~Do take responsibility for yourself
~Don’t assume that others know or “should know” your needs and desires.  Say what you want.
~Do set goals for yourself that you can achieve-with effort-in the near future.
~Don’t waste energy worrying about things you can’t control.  Accepting what you can’t change frees up energy to take control in other aspects of your life.
~Do hang with positive people who respect themselves and others.
~Don’t forget to smile, even when you feel bad.  Others will smile back at you
~Do something you are good at.  Congratulate yourself for doing it well
~Do connect with someone you care about.  Feeling connected feels good.
~Do create something.  Bake cookies, draw a picture.  Making something happen says, “world, I was here today” and that feels good.
~Do write a journal.  Put those jumbled thoughts and feelings down on paper. Suddenly what seemed confusing becomes much clearer, and you feel better.
~Do clean up a mess. Creating order out of chaos gives you a feeling of control.
~Do someone a favor.  Helping others feels good
~Help out in your neighborhood. Even small efforts to make your world a better place can pay off in good feelings about yourself.
~Challenge yourself. Take pride in your accomplishments
~SING! It is impossible to feel bad about yourself when you are singing even if you can’t carry a tune. SING LOUDLY!!!!

________________________________________

AFFIRMATIONS (unknown author)

1. I am loved because I deserve to be loved.
2. I forgive myself for hurting others, and I forgive others for hurting me.
3. I will accept love.
4. I will surround myself with love and kindness.
5. I am capable of change.
6. I love and approve of myself.
7. I am going to be the best ME that I can be.
8. The past has no power over me.
9. Learn from the past, don’t live there
10.Truth is the unchangeable part of me.
11. Stand up for what you believe
12. I am going to be my own person and resist anyone who tries to stop me.
13. You get treated the way you teach people to treat you.
14. The world will not limit my happiness.
15. Nothing will change in my life if I don’t do something different from what I have been doing.
16. There is no way to happiness… Happiness is the way.
17. What other people think of me is totally up to them.
18. The choice is always mine
19. People will not always understand me.
20. I always have options.
21. Learn from the past; don’t live there
22. I will make each moment a pleasant one
23. I am what I choose to be.
24. Success is a journey, not a destination

25. The past has no power over me.
26. I deserve the best and I accept it now.
27. Truth is the unchangeable part of me
28. The most effective teacher in the world is behavior.
29. Make every moment of your life something to appreciate.
30. Love me for what I am, not what you want me to be.
31. If you don’t forgive then you will be the oly person to suffer.
32. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
33. I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND

______________________________________

Autobiography in 5 short chapters
By Portia Nelson

I
I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I fall in.  I am lost…. I am helpless.  It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out

II
I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole i the sidewalk.  I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.  I can’t believe I am in the same place, but it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.  I still fall in… it’s a habit, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.  It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.



{September 4, 2009}   Parental Advisory

What is up with you people now-a-days? And by “you people” I mean anyone in contact with children, in any way, shape or form. Where to begin on this one? I’ve got a head full of thoughts here.

First and foremost, I am a parent. I love being a parent. It’s all I ever really wanted. Even when they are screaming full glass breaking squeals and throwing Matchbox cars at each other, making me want to rip every strand of my hair out, or start up a severe drinking binge, I love my kids. I couldn’t imagine not havin them. But something seems to happen in people’s heads when a child comes into the picture, even strangers. If a child registers on their radar, it’s like there is this instant little click in their heads, telling them how to react.

What gets me is the sheer stupidity that seems to seep out of some people when this happens. Lets start with the ones least influential on the little one, Strangers. I understand it can be completely frustrating, when you are out, minding your own business, and someone’s “unruly” child starts acting up. I’ve been there. I have kids, and can attest to the fact that other peoples kids can make my skin crawl. But I keep it too myself. I don’t shoot dirty looks, or “tsk” at them or make comments about the parents. Here’s the deal: You don’t have a damn clue what that person’s situation it. I have been in this place myself, as well. I’ve wanted to leave the store crying because my toddlers were having meltdowns in the grocery store. But I have to get the things I need, and I have to do it alone. That person you are so angry at for letting their horrible child loose in Walmart, could be some single mom whose husband beat her, and left her, and now this is what she is left to deal with. ON HER OWN. Children’s emotions are not something you can just control. Especially toddlers. They DON’T know any better. They are still learning. Hell, it’s hard enough controlling my own damn emotions, let alone my two year olds. Recently I read a story on Mom Logic about this older man who slapped someone else’s child. They were in Walmart and the little two year was crying. The man walks over and threatens the woman to “shut her up” or he would. And when the child could not be calmed, he walked back up to the child and slapped her several times across the face. I know. Appalling right? And do you know what was just as appalling? The outrageous comments on that page from some of the readers. They support what the man did, and even lay blame on the victims. So here is my word on children in public: Unless you see that child in some sort of danger, MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!! Go home, bitch to yourself. Vent on your blog. Leave the people in peace.

Now, on to the Parents. What the hell goes through your heads?! Did you loose braincells along with all your afterbirth? Lets start with the ones who like to be the “cool” parents. You say your quirky little remarks, act like you just don’t care, and basically put on this big show of how laid back you are. And if this is an act, maybe you shouldn’t have had children. I was reading on the same parent site yesterday about a mother who “hates” her children. Now granted, I believe this was all written with exaggeration for an attempt at humor. I don’t really believe that the woman hates her kids. But by trying to be that cool parent who writes what she thought was witty, she inadvertently puts down her children. I think that shows poor parental judgment. You really want to prove my point on these kinds of parents, just read up on The Octomom.

Next we get into the “Open Our Mouths Before We Think” Parents. These are the parents who have to find fault in every little thing in life, and why their child should not be exposed to it, why it is in violation of their children’s rights, and blah, blah, blah. There are honest to God situations that come up that you have a right to open your mouths. Bullying. There is a good one. Especially when the damn school board wont do anything to protect your child. Or your child finally has had enough, and defends himself, and he gets in trouble. Charge in there! Defend him. He deserves to know you stand behind him. But, if it is something that say, the school is teaching, shut your damn mouths. You enrolled your child in that school. If you don’t like what is going on, put them some place else. I feel when you make the choice to put your child somewhere, it is like signing one of those “Terms of Agreement” contracts. You choose to follow those rules, or the contract is null and void. I’m sick of seeing this. For instance, recently a school bad teacher got into trouble for creating a cute little tee shirt about the evolution of instruments. He used the classic picture of Darwin’s apes turning into man. And people went nuts because it was against religion. (Before you start tearing me apart about religious beliefs, know this:  This is NOT about religion. It is about parenting. I’m only using this instance as an example. (http://www.momlogic.com/2009/09/band_shirt_evolution_intelligent_design.php) Come on people. Common sense. Your child is in a public school. Religion as you’ve seen is shunned here. If you don’t want your child to know about Evolution, put them in a private Christian school, or into homeschooling. Teach them Creation yourself, and if you set a good example in what you believe, they will follow your footsteps. When did this become others responsibilities?

Okay, so how about these “plastic bubble” parents?! You know them. They are the “you can’t go to the playground, there might be germs” type parents. Have you ever heard the song “A Different World” by Bucky Covington? Go listen to it. I’ll wait. That is the world I grew up in. I lived. I’m healthy. I tend to think I’m “normal.” My children have a right to grow up the same. I mean okay, I’m not going to smoke and drink while I’m pregnant like in the song, but you get the point.
I was amused, and slightly sad for the little girl in the piece I read yesterday on a mom who won’t let her child attend sleepovers.  Her big worries: TPing houses, crank calling boys, and playing with a Ouija Board. Come on, even TPing someone’s house is harmless, even if it is annoying. It’s TOILET PAPER! Children are growing up to be big annoying crybabies who think they should be handed things. Spoiled, and sheltered. How about this now, where all kids make a team? Please! I got cut. A lOT. It didn’t damage my self imagine. I learned about disappointment, and that if I really wanted something I had to work hard to get it.

Of course I shouldn’t even have to touch on the issue of the last kind of parent. The one who is abusive, neglectful, or just plain doesn’t care. If anyone feels these people have a case to argue, well, maybe you should join them in jumping off a cliff somewhere.
___________________________________________

The only thing I want to add here is the “My life is so perfect, I’m the perfect Suzy Homemaker even though everyone thinks I’m on drugs because I’m so fucking happy all the time”!  You know these types… The ones that make parenting look like a damn cakewalk.  These are the parents that never once raised a voice or hand to their child and they had the perfect children that didn’t have colic and slept through the night on day one.  (and if you actually believe that bullshit, you need to also lay off the crack pipe along with them).  I’m sorry but parenting in this world will never be this perfect and if you can give me proof otherwise I will personally video tape an apology to you (but your proof better be in video format with time stamps and medical histories stating you didn’t have postpartum depression ever) The only family more annoying than these types is the Clearver’s (Leave it to Beaver)!

You can stop the act, we see right through your “perfect” life.  Its okay you can admit that you secretly had thoughts of wanting to smack your child for talking back to you or something similar to that… IT’S NORMAL! IT’S OKAY!



et cetera