The Offensive Reality

{December 7, 2009}   Talk Is Cheap

What the freaking hell people?!! Does nobody speak or type “normal” anymore? Talk is cheap today, and in that I mean, people sound cheap and ignorant. Maybe, at 31, I’ve just become to old. I don’t get it. Okay, there are some grey areas when playing around with lingo. My friends and I will jokingly say something to each other. Fine. Joke, laugh, play. But if you are trying to have a serious conversation with someone, JUST TALK REAL!

A few years ago I was hanging around with an old friend. We were talking about things in our lives when she says to me “I haven’t had shautty (sp?!!!) in a minute!” What the hell is that? Sounds to me like you haven’t been shot or shot at in the last 60 seconds. I come to find out that she meant she hadn’t had sex in a long time. Why the fuck didn’t she just say that?! I mean, seriously! When I didn’t have a clue as to what she was talking about, she said “you grew up in the country, you just don’t get it.” Okay, true. But wait just a fucking second here!!! “Didn’t you grow up on the farm 10 miles down the road from me?!”

Then, the other day as I was feeding my obsession that is Twitter, some dude tweets me. I’m always up for new friends! I love talking to people! But this was an instant downer: Hey bby grl! Waz up! You iz fine. OH.MY.GOD. Again, I joke around with my friends saying all kinds of goofy shit. But if I was somewhat interested in meeting someone new to talk to, I’d never, and I mean never start off the conversation this way. You sound like a real brain. Lets date. Sure.

The one that irks me the most, however, is the person who has wants to leave their opinion about some topic. You are reading an article. You have a thought flow through your head. You want to make your point too. So you scroll down to the comment section. Then you write this:

Focus lady. Roman Polanski had a mother, like you, drop off her little girl, probably thinking she hit the jackpot, at Jack Nicholson’s house!! Then, he gave her a Rufee and fcked her in the azz. She was 13. 13, get it? There is no time in history when fckging a 13 year old girl in the azz, is acceptable. All the ‘what about this and that’ is simply something of a collective subject matter that you should put on paper, roll, and stuff in your azz. Then, while you are stuffed, go visit a rape clinic. You make stupid look like a state of higher education. You are cut in the mold of the do-gooders of the past 30 years who fcked Americans’ in the azz because you push your fcked up values through the courts. Now we all suffer from political correctness and numbed to life.

– Harlan Letterman

Read more:

Are you fucking kidding me?! You have a good point. But right there with the replacing the s with the z, you just dropped the impact of your statement way below intellegent. Infact I think my IQ dropped to half just from having to read that shit. And this is just the beginning. I know I make spelling mistakes here and there. But some of the fucked (yes, there is a u in there) up shit that is written on these sites drives me up a wall. You make all of us adults, parents, humans, extremely proud. I am sure the author of this article is going to take your aSS seriously.

I could go on and on about this subject. But I’m sure you are “prolly findin some n00b 2 try and get wit n woo herz wit ur mad skillz.”


‘/34|-| j00Z $|-|0ULD r34LL’/ L34r|\| |-|0\/\/ 70 $P34|< pr0P3r 3|\|9L1$|-|!

and if you can’t read that… you isn’t l33t or l337 or 1337 (whichever you prefer)!!!

The funny thin’ iz, when ya speak like dis here ya really sound like uh dumbass. Who can take ya seriously jivin’ like dis here? Do ya really th’o’t dis here iz proper English? Where did ya jet ta fucking skoo? Did yo’ ass even graduate?

Amen ta Ebonics Translators (because I sure as hell couldn’t actually type like dis here without it)! Jus’ like Orenthawl James. (okay the Orenthawl James part made me laugh because I didn’t type that in the box to translate.. too funny)

OK, I’m done.. I don’t think I could ever really talk like that and keep a straight face.  I think maybe I’ve become retarded just by copying and pasting that shit! UGH… I need to go read Pride and Prejudice just to fix this problem!


et cetera