The Offensive Reality

{September 8, 2010}   My Life, My Mess, My Business. End.

Something has been irking the shit out of me lately.  Okay, not just lately, my entire life, but it’s been bubbling up under my skin more recently. Enough I need to get a point out there, and hopefully across to some of you ass wipes.  I know, we haven’t posted in a while.  Don’t think that isn’t because we haven’t been pissy.  It’s mostly just that the things pissing us the hell off we’ve already covered, and if you are like me, I hate to hear dumb asses tell the same story over and over again.  So here’s a new one for you.

Why the fuck can people not keep their goddamn noses to themselves?  I am not talking about close friends.  In my world, I have this inner-circle of people that I share pretty much every fucking aspect of my life with.  And some of them do not even know each other. Some of them I know in person, and some of them I only know through the Internet.  I hope you all know who you are.  These are people in my own little world that I trust to just let it all loose on.  And I’m not talking about things I post openly on the Internet.  If I post something irking me on line, it is open for comment.  I put it out there. I’m talking about these dipshits that you barely know, who blatantly ask you personal things about your life, mostly in the off line world.

There are some things, and some situations I am willing to talk to almost anyone about.  For instance, my domestic violence past.  To a degree that is, I will talk about it.  (Sorry, I got a little Yoda-ish on you there.)  If someone is asking me about this because they want to understand domestic violence better, or because they want to understand and help someone going through it, I’ll gladly discuss it. I want to help people in this situation.  Knowledge is power here. Understanding is power.  Let me help.  But if some fucknut is just trying to dig juicy gossip out of me, I don’t want a fucking part of it.  For almost a year after my ex almost killed me, I was terrified to go into the grocery store.  Every damn time I walked in the building I was stopped by someone I barely knew, or who only knew of me because of my ex, trying to dig details out of me.  I didn’t want to relive that just for their entertainment.

Money is another issue.  My other ex has this idea that he is allowed to tell me what he thinks about my financial situation.  Hell, he even will out and out tell me what to spend money on, and that I need to get out and get a job. Really?   Well shit.  I for some reason believed that I could just sit here on my ass, and all my money worries would just go away.  Pecker head.  I’m constantly trying to find a job.  I did on line training to start up my own damn business, but apparently that isn’t good enough.  I guess I have to give up on anything meaningful and listen to him.  By the way, my business opened this week. Sure, it’s going to take a while for anything to get out there, but it’s here. He also seems to think that he can tell me what to spend my child support on. I’m not some fucking little white trash bimbo, taking her kid’s money and going out drinking.  Every damn penny I get goes into the necessities in this house.  And I so fucking resent some dickhead, who goes out partying in any shape or form, spending his money on hunting supplies, telling me what I should be spending it on.  One day he’ll tell me that it should be helping to pay my bills, and the next day he’ll be saying that it should be used to only buy things for my son.  Oh, and this is the same jackass who thinss $250 a month is more than enough to raise children on.

He’s not the only one.  I have people message me on facebook about personal issues that they heard through the grapevine.  If you only means of conversation with me is an occasional  “like” on a link or status, leave my personal life the fuck alone.  I didn’t post this, so why do you think you have a damn right to ask me about it?

My point people?  Stay the fuck out of my business.  Unless you are in my inner-circle, or I have posted it openly for comment. I swear, everyone’s noses are actually bigger than their damn heads, because they seem to be in the way of everyone else’s lives.

Gossip and Drama seem to be the two things that a lot of people thrive on.  If it’s not drama within their own lives, then they need to get it from other avenues about others.  And living in a smaller town makes you more prone to having others gossip about you than in larger towns.  BUT, don’t get me wrong, larger towns have it much easier these days because of that wonderful invention called INTERNET!

I don’t even need to know a person “IRL” (in real life) to hear the latest gossip about them.  If you have a computer and you put little tid bits of information about yourself out there, it’s like a red flag to the “drama llamas” alerting them to potential gossip that then turns into drama.  I know from personal experience the sort of drama that can come from the online idiots.  I’ve lived it!  Hell, I’ve even had so much stress built up around it that I was physically SICK.

Outside of the internet, I’ve gotten away from a lot of the gossip and drama that use to follow me.  I packed up my shit and moved to a new town 20 minutes away.  I use to live in a town that when I walked out my door, half the town knew about it.  I would get calls from people saying “Hey, what were you doing this afternoon at [insert store location]?”  Now, I’m not sure why it would really be anybody’s business if I were to walk into a place called “toilet paper emporium” but don’t you think you could figure out WHY I was there?  And even if you couldn’t figure out that I was picking up some precious “toilet paper” from said location, why does it matter?  It’s like asking a person why they’re fucking breathing? LIKE YOU COULDN’T FIGURE THAT ONE OUT!!!!

The best type of drama/gossip is when you have people that live an hour away asking you those types of questions!  Now I know they couldn’t have seen me leave my house unless they have me under 24 hr surveillance.  It was like living under a microscope.  I only thought celebrities lived under microscopes but apparently my life is that important that I must fall in that category too.

So the next time you feel that itch to start talking about someone or to cause drama, think to yourself “do you really NEED to do this?” “What purpose does it serve to ME?” and “Does it really matter what they do, and will it hurt me?”  If you REALLY need drama in your life, go watch a god damn soap opera… there is enough crappy drama in an episode of General Hospital or All my Children to satisfy all your needs!


{November 1, 2009}   Drama Drama Drama

Get a life people. Preferably your own! I mean seriously, are you that simple-minded that you have to butt your dumb ass into someone else’s business? And I mean this on every scale. Whether you are some small town gossip, to the big ass tabloids, and even to the people who are supposed to aid and protect us in life.

Lets start small town here. Or any town. More like small mind. Lets try my town. Do you know me? You think you do. You hear this, you twist that, and suddenly you are an expert on my life. Then your so-called facts come rolling back to me, and I sit and laugh at how off base you are. Well, laugh is an understatement. Maybe if you actually knew me, you’d be less likely to run your mouth. Scratch that. For two reasons. One, you’d still run your mouth because that is who you are. You seem to get some thrill out of everyone else’s misery. And two, I don’t want to know you. You are not exactly the type of person I want associated with. You joke how you sit around with your friends making fun of me. Really? Haha, awesome. I am so glad to know that I’m that entertaining. Maybe I should get my own reality show. Here’s a reality for you: Who cares what you and your friends are laughing at. If only you knew how other people looked at you. Most likely if you are dishing out the goods to everyone you know, you are trying to cover up all your nasty little quirks. (Like sleeping with your married boss, or cheating on your husband, or, well you get the picture.) Sure, I call one of my close friends when I hear something coming my way. We joke. We laugh. We are evil. But only too each other. It stops there. That is what friends are for. By the way, I’ve never been one of those people who think that certain people are better than others. I feel everyone is equal, it is just what you do with your mind that counts. You are making me reconsider that.

Here is another one for you. You shit for brains pricks who think you are so high and mighty that you lump everyone together, into stereotypes. I usually ignore comments I see in this regard. Yeah, they piss me off, but I am most likely to just sit and stew at the ignorance of those people. Once in a blue moon though, someone might catch me in a mood. The INTERNET is wonderful for this, because I am allowed that instant, respond to the asshole before I think capability. The other day was one of those moments. As I get into this, remember, I am a survivor of domestic violence. I’ve been battling the system for years, trying to get a real life for me and my children. I have seen the system from different angles, at one point working for it, and then having to live on it myself. I was in a MOOD to it’s true form on this day, when some jackass made a comment lumping drug addicts and people on public welfare all together in one nice little bundle of hatred. You may see me cursing on here, and putting things into not so nice wording. But that is here. I sort of use this like I’m talking in my head. When I actually communicate with people, I am pretty reserved. And actually, don’t laugh, some what shy. Ask OffensiveJ. She’s had to deal with my timid ass for 15 years. Anyway, I calmly asked this dude, “so are you lumping everyone on assistance together in that?” Well, he preceded to tell me how EVERYONE on assistance, unless you are a mentally handicapped child, or elderly, should not be allowed any kind of aid. That everyone else were just lazy asses living off everyone else. So I said to him that I know there are a lot of people taking advantage of the system, but they are just making it bad for those trying to honestly get by. He told me that was basically bullshit. I asked him “what about the now single mom, who was a survivor of domestic violence? She didn’t asked to be abandoned or abused, and left with nothing.” And then he goes into this rant about how she could be out working any job possible, and blah blah blah, even in this economy there really is jobs. He also went off on this tirade about how everyone on assistance should be forced to be temporary sterilized. Excuse me? What?! Okay, granted, I feel that if you are on assistance you should be a little more careful on what you are doing thinking, especially when it comes to children. Do you really want to bring more life, into that kind of life? But WTF?! Sterilization?! Taking someone’s freedom. I know there are some stupid people out there having kids for the wrong reasons, but unfortunately that is their choice. Needless to say, I got no where, but extremely irritated with this moron. Then he precedes to tell me how his family has always been well off, and he’d never use public assistance. Well, buddy, I hope for you kids sake, your job and life are pretty damn secure.

Moving on. Did any of you see this case going on with the Walmart/photo/child porn thing. No? Go read it. OMFG!! Okay. Now I know that there are some pretty sick people out there, but this?! Who the hell doesn’t have childhood nude pictures? Or tub pictures? You are a parent. You see your adorable little one covered in bubbles playing happily. Sex is the last thing on your mind. You are only thinking how you want to be able to remember that adorable little face with the blue bath paint splattered everywhere. I guess I don’t know what to think of the Walmart worker here. I would say that common sense developing the pictures should win out. Is it a whole role of naked children? Oh, just some little girls hugging fresh out of the tub in a towel, and a bunch photos of some family fun stuff, vacations… whatever. Hmmmm, these must be child pornographers. Okay, okay, so he was doing his “job.” Then what about the fucking police. I honestly don’t know how it is in other states, or even town further way, but I know in our little town, the children services suck ass. They ignore the cases that are severe and really do need help, because that would mean they actually have to work. Instead, they pick on the little cases, that are usually false info, and terrorize the family. I’ve seen it happen. I got so burnt out working for the social work system in my area that I left in a hurry. I’d rather find another way to attack it. Anyway, that poor family was torn apart and probably scarred for life over someone’s little reaction. Meanwhile, if I do a sex offender search of my area, there are at least 23 in a 30 mile radius. Get a fucking clue! COMMON SENSE! Wait I forgot, that is something of the past.

Take a hint people. Get your own fucking lives. Save the drama for… well, never mind. Don’t save it for her. Reasons being: one, she’s had to deal with you and your drama your entire life. Let the poor woman have some piece; two, if you are the way you are, most likely she is the reason you are that way. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (thanks Mom)


Drama is my middle name.. scratch that.. DRAMA LOVES TO FIND ME!  Thats much better. 

Many of you know that I frequent a site called Level26 (yes this is a shameless plug for the site too lol) and you know that I’m really dedicated to the site.  Maybe it’s the story, maybe it’s the fact that a kick ass person by the name of Anthony Zuiker runs it and he is by far my favorite celebrity at the moment… Not only because he created one of my FAVORITE TV shows, but because he loves to interact with his Level 26 community!  Granted, with any site you will have controversy and its to be expected, but what you don’t expect is 6th grader drama between everyone.

For the past 3 weeks its been a full-fledged bitch fest about one thing or another.  What doesn’t help is when one person starts it and then everyone else follows their lead.  I’ve never in my life seen so many “pussy whiny bitch tit pieholes” in my life (OK that was something someone called ME the other day).  I was literally embarrassed to be associated with these people the other week.  To the point where I wanted to send Anthony a message saying “OMG, I can’t believe adults are behaving this way.. please forgive them”

So not only is the drama offline… its like 10 times worse online.  It’s like everyone loses all of their common sense as soon as they see a keyboard.  Either that or they become retarded after touching a computer!  Maybe the screen transmits some strange rays from it to the brain of the person sitting there that tells them to become the biggest piece of shit in the entire world!  (that must be it)

What other types of drama do you guys see?  Tell us your worst drama stories… lets see who has the best story!

{October 6, 2009}   ex-oh-ex-oh-ex-oh

Okay, here is the deal. I am friggin’ sick and tired of dealing with asshole exes. Now before you start getting all huffy and what not, I am not a “man hater” as some people say. I do not put all my past expirences on other men. I just seem to have the misfortune, that the real pricks out there know how to spot me. And then I have to deal with the drama. An endless abyss of drama, since dealing with assholes, means also dealing with their childish aquaintances. You know them. I’m sure you all have “that ex” in there somewhere.

oops did i do that?

oops did i do that?

Today though, we are going to deal with the asshole exes, that were lucky enough to be blessed with your child. I’ve tried beyond might to be the “friend.” Personally, the only reason I even care one shit what happens to this person is because I love my child. I don’t care who they are sleeping with, what their job is doing to them, why their other ex is the biggest whore on the face of the earth. I used to care. Well, from a friend point. I wanted to be friends, even after the hell I went through, especially after I left. Now, all bets are off. Wake the fuck up?! It is about the child. Not you, not me, not your new ex, or your family, or your friends. One person. That little one sitting their wondering why you aren’t keeping your damn promises.

You call me up, crying on my shoulder. You need someone to talk to. You know you screwed me over… you can see so clearly now. Okay fine. I’m glad you are growing up. Wait, what? Oh, that’s right, it’s an act. You don’t know how to grow up. The world owes you, and has screwed you over. And now so is everyone else. Then suddenly I am. Oh, what? You don’t want to pay child support. Well, maybe you should stop sleeping with everything that crosses your path. It’s not child’s fault you are a loser. That poor little person just wants to know where you are. And when you don’t show up, guess who has to fix it?

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that part of my chest, here it is. I am sick of hearing non stop about parents using their kids as weapons. They think only of themselves, and then use the kids as a means to hurt the other person. When you have a child you need to grow your ass up. Life will never be about you anymore. Everything you do is going to affect that little innocent child.

Here is your f*ing reality check: You are not God’s gift to the human race. The world owes you nothing. You owe the child everything. I have absolutely no interest in ever being with you again. Now grow the fuck up, and be a parent.


HOW ‘BOUT IT!!?? (and i’m not a man hater either.. i’m just a hater of my ex)

You know, kids say the darnest things… My kids came home the other day to tell me that their sperm donor is trying to get me back! ROTFLMAO OMG WTF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (you totally should have seen my face as I just typed that out).  I really want to be polite in front of my children and I was. I simply told them “sorry sweetie, daddy and I just don’t get along enough for me to go back to him” when what I really wanted to say was “OMG, that is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.. WHY would I leave a stable home and everything to go live in a hellhole with the biggest asshole in the world just to live day to day by scavenging in the couch for enough change to buy our next meal”

OK you say.. “that’s a bit exaggerated Offensive J”.. NO it’s really not!  Now I know what this ex is going to do.  He is going to pull out the INTIMIDATION card because he thinks it will still work on me.  Sad thing is, that wore off a LONG time ago!

So what some of your EX horror stories?  We wanna hear them!  Give us your best!


I’ve been hearing a lot of disturbing things coming my way lately. And they have a lot to do with an extremely touchy subject with me. That would be Domestic Violence.

WTF is wrong people, who sit there and turn the blame around on the victims?! I’ve heard the statements “well maybe she deserved it,” “maybe if she hadn’t done that,” “she was stupid enough to go back,” and my favorite “well, maybe if she’d not have gotten herself into this in the first place…” Are you fucking kidding me?! Let’s break this down a little.

We now live in a society where the actual criminal has more legal right than the victim. They take all sorts of pictures, take him away in handcuffs, recommend you go to the hospital, and then out the door they head, with a simple pitiful look your direction. The next day, he is out on bail, with a simple “stay away” slap on the wrist, until the so-called hearing transpires. So the victim is left in fear. Because a temporary PFA, an actual PFA, or even a warning from the police is no security measure. Yeah, it is a consequence. But it isn’t stopping the bastard from walking right back in there and doing worse. This is one reason “she is stupid enough to go back.” He shows up, he threatens her. Or, even worse, he shows up, breaks down crying, telling her he is so sorry, he is going to get help, he can change, blah fucking blah. Yeah. Oh he will. He’ll get worse.

Or, the battered woman has no support system to help her out of this. She can turn to no one. And of course, some of you dipshits are going to say that she can go to the shelter, friends, family, the law. She isn’t thinking that. She’s afraid for anyone to know. The bruises are hidden. Why do you think she is wearing long sleeves in the dead of summer? That scarf isn’t just because it is in style. Being abused doesn’t just damage your outside. You feel like you are nothing. Like you deserve nothing. You can’t get anything better, so you best not lose what you have, even if it is killing you. And on top of it, it WASN’T always like this. So when you say “she shouldn’t have gotten herself into this in the first place,” remember that if he’d punched on their first date, there probably wouldn’t have been a second. There was love, at least on her part. There were good times. Those are freakin amazing, and hard to let go of. Even when they become few and far between, you know they were still there. You believe, they have to still be there.

Now, say that the woman is able to move forward, and push the trial, and push for the law to help. I’ve got news for you: the system doesn’t care. Oh, they tell you they do. They promise you he wont see the light of day for what he did to you. You are safe. Look at Rihanna. Chris Brown got probation and community service. He cried how he didn’t know he was doing this. It runs in his family. He was so sorry, because he loves her so much. Bullshit. They get a slap on the wrist, and maybe 6 months. A PFA is just a piece of paper, and now-a-days, people seem to be putting them on each other just in revenge. That weakens our system. Then those who really need them are looked down upon. I know two different innocent men right now who are having their lives raked over the coals at the wims of two psyco ex-girlfriends, and a power hungry judge and D.A. And I know some overly guilty men out there walking free, terrorizing their exes because the system has just seen it too much.

Open your eyes people!!! Become AWARE! TEACH your children, your family, your friends. Teach your WORLD. Change it.

And to those of you who say “maybe she deserved it.” Watch out. Because if that is how you are thinking, you are red flagged. You probably are an abuser, or on your way to being one. Perhaps you should save humanity a little integrity and take a walk off a cliff. Preferably with a lot of rocks at the bottom.

If you haven’t figured it out from my view points, I am a domestic violence SURVIVOR. I am not going to tell you my “story”on here. I live it every night in my head. But I want people to learn from it. I am not a victim. I have my victim days. I am lucky. I have a huge support system. But I’m still fighting. I am a SURVIVOR.

I’m also a survivor and OffensiveChris’s story and mine are different.  Domestic violence comes in many many forms: verbal, sexual and physical.  I’m also not going to tell my story today.  I was going to link to a video by a popular youtuber but I decided against it for two reasons. One, why should I give him more views and two, I don’t feel like being the person that sends people to his video to verbally abuse him.  I posted a comment to his video when I saw it, and instead of having others that agreed with me I had people telling me to “Fuck off” and that I was “a dumb cunt”.  I let these comments roll off my back because in my life, I have been called a lot worse by people that were not behind a computer.  I didn’t post the comment because I dislike the youtuber, but because I just really felt offended by his statement.  I know he is there to get shock value and I should have just let his comment also roll down my back, but in the heat of the moment I couldn’t help myself.  To this day, I still watch his videos and have no hard feelings towards him.

So instead of that video, I’m going to give you some inspirational quotes and poems that I have used in the past in my other blog in case you happen to be one of those people stuck in an abusive relationship and don’t have anyone else to turn too.  Remember Chris and I were both there.  I lived in the abuse shelters and went to the domestic violence meetings.  We know where you are and where you need to be to get help!

I’ve learned (unknown author)
I’ve learned-
you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned –
it’s taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned –
you should always leave loved ones
with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned –
you can keep going
long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned –
we are responsible for what we do
regardless of how we feel
I’ve learned –
either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I’ve learned –
regardless of how hot and
steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be
something else to take its place.
I’ve learned –
heroes are the people

who do what had to be done,
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned –
money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned –
my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned –
sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you’re down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned –
sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me
the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned –
true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
same goes for true love.
I’ve learned –
just because someone doesn’t love
you the way you want them to
doesn’t mean
they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned –
maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you’ve had
and what you’ve learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned –
no matter how good a friend is,
he/she is going to hurt you

every once in a while
you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned –
it isn’t always enough to be
forgiven by others.
sometimes you
have to learn to forgive yourself
I’ve learned –
no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned –
our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned –
just because two people argue.
it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other
and just because they don’t argue,
it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned –
we don’t have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned –
you shouldn’t be so eager
to find out a secret.
it could change your life
I’ve learned –
two people can look at the exact
same thing and see something totally
I’ve learned –
your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned –
even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help
I’ve learned –
credentials on the wall

do not
make you a decent human being
I’ve learned –
the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

20 ways to love yourself (unknown author)

~Do go with your instincts and follow your heart.  You will feel good about yourself when you are doing what feels right inside.
~Don’t be lazy about your health and appearance.  The effort you put into eating well and exercising will pay off. 
~Comfort a friend.  Try to cheer them up .  When you are focused on their problems, yours will seem smaller
~Do find your strengths and talents (everyone has some) and make the most of them!
~Don’t be so desperate to have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you use someone you don’t care about to let them use you.  No one feels good in a relationship that lacks caring.
~Do take responsibility for yourself
~Don’t assume that others know or “should know” your needs and desires.  Say what you want.
~Do set goals for yourself that you can achieve-with effort-in the near future.
~Don’t waste energy worrying about things you can’t control.  Accepting what you can’t change frees up energy to take control in other aspects of your life.
~Do hang with positive people who respect themselves and others.
~Don’t forget to smile, even when you feel bad.  Others will smile back at you
~Do something you are good at.  Congratulate yourself for doing it well
~Do connect with someone you care about.  Feeling connected feels good.
~Do create something.  Bake cookies, draw a picture.  Making something happen says, “world, I was here today” and that feels good.
~Do write a journal.  Put those jumbled thoughts and feelings down on paper. Suddenly what seemed confusing becomes much clearer, and you feel better.
~Do clean up a mess. Creating order out of chaos gives you a feeling of control.
~Do someone a favor.  Helping others feels good
~Help out in your neighborhood. Even small efforts to make your world a better place can pay off in good feelings about yourself.
~Challenge yourself. Take pride in your accomplishments
~SING! It is impossible to feel bad about yourself when you are singing even if you can’t carry a tune. SING LOUDLY!!!!


AFFIRMATIONS (unknown author)

1. I am loved because I deserve to be loved.
2. I forgive myself for hurting others, and I forgive others for hurting me.
3. I will accept love.
4. I will surround myself with love and kindness.
5. I am capable of change.
6. I love and approve of myself.
7. I am going to be the best ME that I can be.
8. The past has no power over me.
9. Learn from the past, don’t live there
10.Truth is the unchangeable part of me.
11. Stand up for what you believe
12. I am going to be my own person and resist anyone who tries to stop me.
13. You get treated the way you teach people to treat you.
14. The world will not limit my happiness.
15. Nothing will change in my life if I don’t do something different from what I have been doing.
16. There is no way to happiness… Happiness is the way.
17. What other people think of me is totally up to them.
18. The choice is always mine
19. People will not always understand me.
20. I always have options.
21. Learn from the past; don’t live there
22. I will make each moment a pleasant one
23. I am what I choose to be.
24. Success is a journey, not a destination

25. The past has no power over me.
26. I deserve the best and I accept it now.
27. Truth is the unchangeable part of me
28. The most effective teacher in the world is behavior.
29. Make every moment of your life something to appreciate.
30. Love me for what I am, not what you want me to be.
31. If you don’t forgive then you will be the oly person to suffer.
32. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.


Autobiography in 5 short chapters
By Portia Nelson

I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I fall in.  I am lost…. I am helpless.  It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out

I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole i the sidewalk.  I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.  I can’t believe I am in the same place, but it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.  I still fall in… it’s a habit, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.  It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

et cetera